Some people may think just because I have a 12 month calendar of myself hanging on my wall, I most likely am full of myself. Those same people also probably think just because I plaster my boudoir/beyouty ambassador photos all over social media, I have a huge ego and consider me vain.
When you’re not used to being confident, confidence seems arrogant sometimes in the eyes of others.
I’m here to tell you that as a matter of fact, it’s the complete opposite.
I lived majority of my teenage to adult life with massive insecurities about my body, my weight, my style and my looks. Up until about 4 years ago, my relationship with my self esteem and self worth was pretty non existent. If I’m being brutally honest, I often wished I was never born as “me” and wanted so badly to be someone else. At one point I even wanted to change my name because that’s how much I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror.
A turning point for me was after making the decision to end my marriage after many years of off and on attempts to reconcile the relationship with my ex husband.
In 2019, I met and befriended Emma, owner/operator of Pretty as a Picture Photography. She had posted a call out seeking for 2019 “beYOUty Ambassadors”. I was intrigued, so I inquired and met her for coffee to get more details. When Emma explained that she was looking for likeminded women who maybe had their own confidence struggles, but were open to the idea of building this empire of confident, empowering, self loving and worthy group of humans, I wanted in on what I imagined would be such an impactful movement! I applied right away. The process was very professional. Interview with Emma where we had a questions and answers period. It was thought provoking, nerve racking, but all so exciting at the same time. I gave her honest answers, tried to show her that I would be a right fit for the role and before I knew it, I was accepted as one of Pretty as a Picture Photography’s 2019 beYOUty Ambassadors.
I couldn’t wait to start this journey. Not only to help Emma empower and encourage other women to love themselves for the beautiful and unique creatures they are, but to also learn how to do it for myself too. And that I did.
With every meeting, every interaction or conversation with Emma, and certainly with every photo shoot, I really began to “see” the woman in the mirror, the woman I truly was, or should I say, am! Every curve, every scar, every stretch mark, every cellulite dimple, the gap in my front teeth, my quickly growing grey hair. Every single thing that I once viewed as a flaw or as an imperfection or as something unattractive about myself, has now become the things I stare at and have become obsessed with. (Okay maybe I’m not quite there with the hair yet). But literally, I will now stand naked in front of my mirror and just be in awe of my entire body from head to toe.
I compliment myself and I feel grateful for every single thing my body has done for me. It has given me strength and endurance during times of physical need. It has allowed me to birth two of the most amazing human beings, naturally and beautifully. It has taught me lessons on how to better take care of it with the food I fuel it with. It has pulled me up off the floor more times than I can count when life has made me crumble.
To say that I am a person with a large ego or being vain is a personality trait of mine would just be incorrect. I hang my calendar and share my photos because I have finally learned how incredibly important and powerful self love and acceptance is, and I am beyond proud to share my story of overcoming one of the harshest and heartbreaking obstacles ever known to all humans.
Loving yourself is easy, if you understand the importance of it 💕
~ Rosie Silvaggio